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Of the Top 10 Stupidest Fads,
Which do you think is #1? |
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The Top 10 Stupidest Fads
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Porn SPAM
Regular synthetically produced, canned Spam is bad enough. And now people have introduced porn/penis enlargement SPAM into our email boxes... You know, the ones like "EN1ARG3 UR P EN1$" (which consequently uses the same grammar as 13 year old uses on her Myspace profile). If people needed penis enlargements or pictures of a hot underaged getting it on her face, they are usually more than driven to go find it themselves. Who even clicks on these ads and how the companies stay in business is a mystery...
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Mood Rings
Mood rings, which first became popular in the 70s, was marketed to people to alert people to what mood they might be in - Blue meaning happy, black meaning anxious or stressed, and so on... But why do you need a piece of jewelry to tell you how you're feeling? Has the entire population resorted to not being able to think for ourselves, and thus, need to rely on a piece of gawky ugly plastic to tell us (inaccurately) how we feel? It doesn't really tell you your mood, and it looks ugly. It's 0 for 2, and yet, peopel still wore them.
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Lava Lamps
The Lava Lamp, invented in the 1960s by Edward Craven Walker, is an incredibly tackly looking, very space consuming piece of furniture, that does little else than sit in a corner. It doesn't produce enough light to even come close to being called a lamp. All it does is it houses heat wax, which forms lava like blobs, rises to the top of the lamp, and then sinks to the bottom as it cools. Rinse and repeat, and that's it. Perfect for staring at for hours if you're on recreational drugs, like it's users in the 60s.
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Boom Cars
What is the appeal of driving a car with over-amplified bass speakers in the trunk (which probably cost more than the car) that is loud enough to be heard blocks away? While most people can understand the need to crank up the volume of our favorite songs, it is hard to imagine that anyone can really enjoy music at these ear-splitting levels. It's the Boom Car drivers' way of saying “In your face – rules don’t apply to me. It is my right to be as loud as I want, and I don't give a damn about you”.
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MySpace
The new cyberfad of 2000 is MySpace, which claims to be "a social networking site". In reality, it's a destination spot for 13 year old girls to create ugly pages, and child molesters to pray. But let's forget about the child molesters for a moment. MySpace has probably become famous for hosting some of the ugliest websites on the internet with loud blaring music and the tackiest backgrounds imagineable. And the content on the site? Entirely made up of people writing entirely in capital letters, "clever" letter/number substitutions, with an indecipherable text-message based variant of English called “stupid”. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLZ.
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Crocs
Crocs have got to be the worst footwear trend ever to hit - yes, they're cute on, say, and adorable small child or a chef (in his kitchen), and are understandable on nurses/doctorss while wearing their scrubs - but EVERYONE is wearing them, from dear sweet grannies out for afternoon tea, to CEOs in the highrise offices with a view, to teenage boys in high school parking lots, to everyone else who should not be wearing the Mickey Mouse-like abominations as if they are real shoes?
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Muffin Top Belly Piercings
Belly button piercings can be sexy on girls with a flat stomach... but streets are now filled with women with "muffin tops" sporting belly piercings. (The "muffin top" is caused by a waistband that's too low and too tight, causing fat to spill over the side of your pants) It's not enough that the girl thinks she's thin enough to wear the pants - she then decides to draw even more attention to the extra fat hanging out with a sparkly piercing. Not that we're ragging on fat people - if you're overweight, just buy the right pants, and DON'T pierce your belly button.
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Virtual Pets
To let children too irresponsible for a real pet, Toy makers introduced the Virtual Digital Pet (Tamagotchi toy). It's meant to virtually simular a real pet - You can feed, walk, and play with it. If you don't play with it, it gets sad. If you don't feed it, it dies. And you perform all of those actions with a press of a button. What a great way to simulate a real animal, especially since if it dies, all you do is press a reset button and you can start over. What a great way to learn responsibility (more like a giant waste of time).
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Roller Shoes
As if children today aren't already getting fat enough, shoe makers decided to introduce "roller shoes", a way to make kids even lazier and exercise less. The Roller Shoes are normal sneakers, with wheels stealthy embedded in the heels. Talk about accidents waiting to happen. The company says you shouldn't "heel" faster than you can walk - But if that's the case, what's the point of using them? Since their invention, they've been banned by some shopping malls, schools and amusement parks and were considered one of the 10 worst toys for kids last year by the World Against Toys Causing Harm.
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Reebok Pumps
Reebok Pumps - the idea was simple: Push the stupid button on the sneaker, and the shoes would fill with air and tighten the fit on your feet... or something like that. No one really knows the exact purpose, if there was one. If the point was to make the shoes more fastened to your feet, there's already invention made for that - they called it shoelaces. In any event, if you wanted your feet to look gaudy as Hell but didn't want the extra weight of snowboots, Reebok Pumps were the way to go.
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