Who is Mr. Sock Monkey?

Mr. Sock Monkey is the head honcho hiding behind your web browser, processing all those feelings you have (hatred, glee, anger, desire, pessimism, optimism), all those opinions you possess and all your caring and caustic comments. He accepts everything that you would like to but never would say to a person’s face and in his patented non-judgmental, fairly vicious manner, shares it with the world.

He’s a friend to everyone because he’s been exactly where you’ve been. Women love the fact that he’s a great listener and extremely cute. Men like his wise guy sense of humor along with his macho attitude. Kids love him because he’s a sock monkey. Yes!

You know, Mr. Sock Monkey wasn’t always famous. In fact, at first he wasn’t even a monkey. He was…well… socks. Just a few pair of simple socks. And although you may think that being made from socks may make you feel comfy and warm, Mr. Sock Monkey found it embarrassing.

As a kid, after he was sewn together, he was ridiculed by all of the real monkeys because he was not one of them. Do you know how often he heard, “Hey, Sock Monkey, you sock!” More than he’d like to remember.

But, like so many people and sock monkeys that have been putdown, laughed at and left out, Mr. Sock Monkey decided that he would “show everyone.” So he set out to change his life.

First, he decided that he would buff up and become the best body builder in the world. But then he realized that when you’re made out of socks, you don’t have any muscles. Then he thought he’d become a male model. But the agencies only wanted him as a sock model, and he felt that was simply fashion stereotyping.

Then, like Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Andy Dick and so many others before him, Mr. Sock Monkey found his niche—behind a computer gossiping about others. He discovered that he was good at it, loved it and that his new job got rid of all the aggression and pain that had built up in him after years and years of ridicule. And although you’ll still catch hints of pessimism (actually huge amounts) in Mr. Sock Monkey, overall he’s a well-adjusted collection of former foot warmers.

So, there you have it. A world wide web success story—Mr. Sock Monkey.